* PROOF OF LIFE by Melissa Dallago
Posted by loiswstern
My father was patient and kind. He did not envy, nor boast. He was proud of his wife and daughter. He was never self-seeking, was never rude and never easily angered. He kept no record of wrongs. My father’s love never failed!
I modified 1 Corinthians 13:4 as a tribute to my father to read at his funeral. That day was the second hardest day of my life; the first being the day my father died. My dad’s name was Justin. He came into my life as my step-father when I was sixteen years old, and exited it as my dad.
Author’s Dad, Justin
Dad’s health issues began in 1995 when he underwent heart bypass surgery. Shortly after that he was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease which led to kidney failure. He began dialysis in 1997 and it became the mainstay of his life, and ours, for the next 17 years.
Dad had a remarkable amount of strength and “never say die” attitude in dealing with his health; he never gave up. Each time we faced a critical diagnosis, and there were many, Dad did whatever was needed to survive, come hell or high water. For 17 years he fought. For 17 years we weathered the storms as a family and pulled enjoyment from life and each other. For 17 years Dad was the patient, Mom the caregiver and I the witness.
Dad was a lively, energetic, compassionate and loving man. He had a quiet dignity about him and was well respected. Dad had volunteered to serve in the army as an engineer during the Vietnam War and carried that military bearing for the rest of his life. He was precise and organized; his favorite motto was “measure twice, cut once.”
One of Justin’s “measure twice, cut once” drawings
There was a time when Dad did not “measure twice, cut once.” I can remember when I came home from work one day to find that Dad had hung shelves in my bedroom. As I began to put my knick knacks on the shelves, they promptly fell onto the floor. I took a closer look and saw that the shelves weren’t level. I told Dad that my shelves were crooked, and he said that there was no way they were crooked because he had precisely measured before he hung them. To demonstrate the crookedness, I placed a small item on the lower shelf and watched as it slid to the floor. Dad gave me a nasty look as I giggled. He got his tools to re-measure and re-hang the shelves, this time perfectly parallel to the floor, straight as an arrow. For Christmas that year I found him a Gary Larson “Far Side” comic that pictured an art gallery in which all of the paintings were hung crooked and wrote “Justin’s Gallery” in the corner. The reason for the paintings being hung that way was because the curator had a kinked neck and to him they looked straight, but to the non-kinked neck people they clearly leaned to the right. Dad scoffed at me when he read the comic, yet had a twinkle in his eye just the same.
The most important lesson I learned, and one that may help others, is that the emotions you experience, and the pain you feel in grief are proof of life. Every breath you take, everything you experience, and every moment you are aware of your unbearable pain is proof of life. It is proof that you are alive and living in a beautiful, vibrant world. You are not wonderful, but you are healing, and joy and happiness will return in time. The experience of grief will not be easy, it will not be over quickly and you will not enjoy it, but embrace the grief as proof that you are alive. Dad’s death taught me about proof of life, and it is something that I will never forget.
THIS STORY CONTINUES IN THE TALES2INSPIRE™
FINALIST – 2013
About loiswsternI was in education for just over 20 years when I unexpectedly pursued another passion and entered the world of authors and journalists. I have since published two non-fiction, full length books on different aspects of beauty, but also avidly endorse the confluence of Inner and Outer beauty. I have written feature articles for Long Island Beauty Guide and LI Woman, and have served as Editor-at-large for MakeMeHeal.com, the largest Internet site for plastic surgery and beauty needs. I enjoy researching what's new in the world of aesthetics & anti-aging and devote one of my blogs: www.FabulousBeautyBlog.wordpress.com to sharing cutting edge, hype-free information. I devote my second blog to my other passion: writing, collecting and sharing stories to warm the spirit and inspire the soul. To this end, I have created an 'Authors Helping Authors' project/contest, to create books for inspiration, the first of which is titled: Tales 2 Inspire ~ Beyond Coincidence. It is a jewel of a book, filled with inspiring stories and full color original photos and/or drawings. If you're a talented writer with one inspiring story to share, visit www.tales2inspire.com to learn how to participate. FREE to enter. All you need is the talent and perseverance to do so. Lots of positive platform building opportunities for the winners. Learn more at: www.tales2inspire.com.
Posted on February 5, 2013, in Tales2Inspire, Tales2Inspire Contest, TALES2INSPIRE WRTERS CONTEST, Words to Inspire and tagged "authors helping authors project", "authors helping authors", "inspirational stories", "TALES2INSPIRE CONTEST", author, Lois W. Stern. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.